It is always faster to not do something than to do it. This statement reminds me of an old computer programming proverb: "Remember, no code is faster than no code."
The same philosophy can be applied to other aspects of life.' No meeting, for example, is faster than no meeting at all..
This does not mean that you should never attend another meeting, but the truth is that we say yes to many things that we do not really want to do. There are so many meetings that do not need to be held. There are lot of written code that could be removed.
How often do people ask you to do something and you just say "Sure"? Three days later, you are overwhelmed by the number of things on your to-do list. We get frustrated with our obligations even though we were the ones who said yes to them in the first place.'
It is worth asking if things are necessary. Many of them are not, and a simple "no" will be more productive than any job the most efficient person can do.
But if the benefits of saying aren't so obvious, why do we say yes so often?
Why do we say yes
Many requests are accepted not because we want to make them, but because we don't want to be perceived as rude, arrogant, or unhelpful'. Often times, you should consider saying no to someone with whom you will interact again in the future: your coworker, your spouse, your family, and friends.
Saying no to these people can be especially difficult because we care about them and want to help them. (Not to mention, we often need your help too.) Collaborating with others is an important element of life. The idea of forcing the relationship outweighs the commitment of our time and energy.
For this reason, it can be helpful to be polite in your response. Do all the favors you can, and be honest and direct when you have to say no.
But even after taking these social considerations into account, many of us still seem to do a poor job of managing compensation for each other and not. We feel overly committed to things that do not significantly improve or support those around us, and certainly do not improve our own lives.
Perhaps a question is how we think about the meaning of yes and no.
The difference between yes and no
The words "yes" and "no" are used in comparison with each other so often that they seem to carry equal weight in the conversation. In reality, they are not simply opposites in meaning, but of completely different magnitudes in compromise.
When you say no, you are just saying no to an option. When you say yes, you are saying no to all other options.
I like how economist Tim Harford put it: "Every time we say yes to an application, we also say no to anything else we can achieve over time." Once you've committed to something, you've decided how that future block of time will be spent.
In other words, saying it won't save you time in the future. Saying yes now will cost you time later. It is not a form of time credit. You retain the ability to spend your future time however you like. Yes, it is a form of time debt. You have to return your commitment at some point.
It is not a decision. Yes, it is a responsibility.
The role of no
Saying that it is not sometimes seen as a luxury that only those in power can afford. And it's true,: turning down opportunities is easier when you can tap into the safety net provided by power, money, and authority. But it is also true that saying is not a mere privilege reserved for the successful ones among us. It is also a strategy that can help you be successful.
Saying that it is not an important skill to develop at any stage of your career because it preserves your most valuable asset in life: your time. "If you don't take care of your time, people will steal it from you," said investor Pedro Sorrentino.
You must say no to anything that does not advance your goals. Distractions must be avoided. "If you broaden your definition of no, it's actually the only productivity trick (because you finally say no to any distraction," one reader told me to be productive.
No one embodied this idea better than Steve Jobs, who said, “People think that concentrating means saying yes to what you need to focus on. But that's not what it means; it means saying no to the other hundred good ideas floating around. You have to choose carefully. "
There is an important balance to strike here. Saying no doesn't mean that you will never do anything interesting, innovative, or spontaneous. It simply means that you say yes in a focused manner. Once you've eliminated the distractions, it can make sense to say yes to any opportunity that can lead you in the right direction. You may have to try many things to find out what works and what you like. This period of exploration is especially important at the start of a project, job, or career.
Updating your No
Over time, as you continue to improve and succeed, your strategy must change.
The opportunity cost of your time increases as you become more successful.' At first, just cut out the obvious distractions and explore the rest. As your skills improve and you learn to separate what works from what doesn't, you must continually raise your threshold to say yes.
You still need to say no to distractions, but you also need to learn to say no to opportunities that were once good uses of time, so that you can make room for great uses of time. It's a good problem to have, but it can be a difficult skill to master.
In other words, you must update your "no's" over time.
Updating your no does not mean that you will never say yes. It just means that by default you say no and only say yes when it really makes sense. To quote investor Brent Beshore, "Saying it's not that powerful because it retains the opportunity to say yes."
The general trend seems to go something like this: If you can learn to say no to bad distractions, you will eventually earn the right to say no to good opportunities.
How to say no
Most of us are probably too fast to say yes and too slow to say no. It's worth wondering where you are on that spectrum.
If you have trouble saying no, you may find useful the following strategy proposed by Tim Harford , British economist I mentioned earlier. He writes, "One trick is to ask:" If you were to do this today, would you agree? "It's not a bad rule, because any future commitment, no matter how distant, will eventually become a pressing issue."
If an opportunity excites you enough to stop what you're doing right now, it's a yes. If not, you should reconsider.
This is similar to Derek Sivers' famous "Hell Yeah or No" method. If you are asked to do something and your first reaction is "Of course you do!" Say no if you're not excited.
It is impossible to remember to ask yourself these questions every time you are faced with a decision, but it is still a useful exercise to review from time to time. Saying that it may not be difficult, but it is often easier than the alternative. As writer Mike Dariano has pointed out, “It is easier to avoid commitments than to get out of commitments. Saying it doesn't keep you on the easier end of this spectrum.
What's true about health is also true about productivity: an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
The power of no
More effort is wasted doing things that don't matter than doing things inefficiently. And if that's the case, elimination is a more useful skill than optimization.
I remember the famous Peter Drucker quote: "There is nothing as useless as efficiently doing what should not be done at all."
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